Smile
by Rosesdancinginmymind
Summary: SQ - Emma thinks about Regina's smiles. Kind of AU because in my version of 2x21 Emma saves Regina. Based on the song Secret Smile


_AN: I should be working on A Dream Can Change It All but I was listening to Secret Smile by Semisonic and this one-shot popped into my head. I don't own Once or it's characters. Apologies for any mistakes._

_SQ - Emma thinks about Regina's smiles. Kind of AU because in my version of 2x21 Emma saves Regina._

"_Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile_

_And you use it only for me_

_Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile_

_And you use it only for me"_

Everyone has seen your "smile", that plastic fake one you wear for appearance's sake. I can tell you'd rather cry but you have practiced mask so people just see that smile. Am I the only one who can see it isn't real? Then, I think, no-one else has really taken the time to look beneath that smirk you wear, they see the bravado and the evil queen, they don't see what I see: you hiding beneath that damn smile. Maybe I'm the only one who can tell because I've seen your real smile. I smile just thinking about it.

ooo

The first time I saw you smile was that day at the mines. It wasn't directed at me but at Henry. I can still picture that look of pure joy on your face when Henry and I surfaced. Part of me had hoped that some of that smile was directed at me but I knew better. Your face practically lit up in relief and happiness just at seeing Henry safe, in that moment, I knew that in spite of what Henry said you did love him. I ran over to both you and subconsciously rested my hand on your back, at the time I didn't know why I did that, now I do. You of course shrugged me off and dismissed me but that smile lingered on your face. Part of me was annoyed that you just sent me away so soon but a small part of me captured your smile and felt this strange sort of warmth and happiness that I did that; I made you smile.

ooo

I had to wait nearly a year for another smile. We were in your office and you had just narrowly escaped the wraith. I can still feel that pang in my chest at the thought of losing you, I was so relieved that you were okay but I pushed my joy down using my promise to Henry as a cover. I remember the nervous way your hands fluttered before you asked me if Henry had really asked me to protect you; as if you couldn't believe that he would really say that. I smiled in what I hoped was a reassuring way at you before saying yes. You smiled at me, it was small but it was real. Your eyes seemed to glitter as well as that smile lit up your face for a short while. That smile haunted me all throughout my time in that damn forest.

ooo

The next smile I got from you was the day Snow and I returned from the forest. Henry rushed into my arms in an exuberant hug, god I had missed him so much. I let him cling to me as he told me how you saved us. You saved us. All I could say was thank you before sidling up to you with Henry still in my arms. I made a light comment about your mom to which you agreed before turning to me and saying "Welcome back" with this grin on your face. That grin. I smile thinking about it, it spread across your whole face and I couldn't help but smile back at you, you were grinning because you had saved me.

ooo

I didn't have to wait long for my next smile from you. Henry and I invited you to the welcome back party at Granny's, I wanted you there but I couldn't admit that, not yet so I used Henry as my cover again. I argued for you to stay despite my parent's objections, I just wanted them to give you another chance, you had saved us after all. They eventually agreed, I wanted to talk to you but didn't get a chance, apparently being the saviour means that you don't get a minute's peace. I'm talking to Archie when I see you slip away a glum look on your face. I quickly excuse myself and rush out after you. I blurt some nonsense about the cake and you turn with this surprised look on your face, shocked that someone came after you, that someone cared. You thanked me for inviting you, I used Henry, said I was happy that you spent time with him and you gave me that small smile again. The twinkly one from that day with the wraith, it's not as joyful as the grin but it's happy in its own way. But I messed this one up and kicked myself for taking that smile away from you.

ooo

A lot happened after that which meant that I didn't get to see that smile or any other real one for a long time. I took Henry and went to New York. Your mother manipulated you. Snow killed Cora. I didn't see you very often and I found myself missing you. That day at the docks you spoke to me and I had to resist the urge to smile or touch you just to confirm that you were really there, instead we spoke about Neal and I accidentally switched your focus from me and Henry to those infernal beans.

We had to rescue you from Greg and Tamara. Snow and Charming seemed confused about my rush and determination to save you but I couldn't let you die, it was killing me knowing you were getting hurt. I think Henry could tell something but he covered for me telling them she was family and that we had to save her. Bless that kid for agreeing with me. I let Snow and Charming run after Greg while I unhooked you from those machines, you looked so small and vulnerable; I picked you up gently in my arms and carried you to the apartment.

Snow and Charming were out trying to track down Greg and Tamara, Henry was with Neal leaving me alone with you in the apartment. I hadn't moved from your side since the Blue Fairy left. I just sat there washing your burns with a cool cloth and watching the rise and fall of your chest as you slept. Eventually you open your eyes, "Emma" you croak out "you saved me?" you ask clearly surprised. I reached across and brush a stray hair off your face before saying "Of course I did." I smile at you and I get one in return. This one might just be my favourite, it's small but it's warm and grateful, I can see the tears forming in your eyes because someone saved you. I remember reaching across and wiping those tears away before you reached out for me and asked for me to stay. I lay there with you gathered in my arms and we talked before you snuggled into me with a yawn and that small happy smile on your face, this time fully aimed at me.

ooo

I don't have to wait for smiles anymore. Most people still get that fake politician smile when you're scared and feel that need to put up a front, your mayoral smile that lets you get your job done and face the world. I don't mind though because now you come home to me and give me your real smile. No-one else knows it, no-one else seems to see it but now I don't mind that you keep that smile hidden from everyone else because I know that your beautiful secret smile is given to me. You have a smile for Henry and the rest of the family but that small happy relieved smile from the day we saved you is one that only I get to see every morning and every night. I know that I have one of these smiles too that only you see and I promise you that for as long as you'll give me your secret smile, I'm happy to give you mine.


End file.
